Grief is a deeply personal experience that can grind our lives to a halt – emotionally, professionally and physically.
It is a fact of life and as employers we need to understand how to support our employees through these moments with clarity and compassion to free up space for them to focus on what really matters.
When my mum died suddenly in 2016 I stopped sleeping, eating and working – I needed to be on the other side of the country with my family. I was lucky in that my job stepped in – giving me the space I needed to start to process this life changing news, and to recalibrate my life. But not everyone is as lucky as I was.
With this week marking Grief Awareness Week, now is the ideal time for HR professionals and employers to think about what they need to do to support employees experiencing loss.
Opening up conversation
We’re bad at talking about death in the UK and we’ve been told that knowing what to say can be hard. But actually, it isn’t. The first thing to do is just say, simply ‘I’m sorry to hear about your mum/friend/grandparent’ – whether that’s in person, over a message or a thoughtful card – it really is as simple as that. This lets them know you are thinking of them and helps them start the conversation, if they want to have it.
It’s not business as usual
We’re all different and there’s no one size fits all. Although I wouldn’t ever make an assumption about what that employee needs, it’s worth proactively letting them know they can take some time away if needed and making plans to step in to take on any tight deadline work. Any messages around this time can finish ‘no need to respond’ and you can ask them if they want to be cc’d out of messages/emails for a period of time if needed.
Offer Flexible Leave and Work Arrangements
Dealing with grief is physically exhausting. It robs us of our memory, concentration, decision-making capacity and our sleep. Understanding this as an employer or as a manager is hugely helpful.
Alongside some bereavement leave they may also need a more flexible return to work so that they can ease back into normality. Depending on the situation, loss can also change caring responsibilities which may require further flexibility. Enabling an open conversation about this is key.
Grief isn’t neat and tidy in the way that statutory bereavement leave or policies often make it out to be. With this in mind it’s important to be flexible, and not just in the short term – anniversaries or other moments months from their death can also require support.
Create an Environment where they can share how they’re doing
Not everyone wants to share how they’re feeling at work after the death of someone close to them, but creating an environment where they can if they want to can be hugely helpful.
Giving your managers the training and confidence to do this will be more than worth it. Companies don’t need to stop there. They can also signpost employees to access grief counselling through services like Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) or charities like the National Bereavement Service. This support can give employees an outlet outside the workplace to process their emotions.
A problem shared
It’s easy to feel isolated after the death of someone close to you, and it can be difficult for colleagues to know how to support you.
Peer support groups or a buddy system can be helpful for employees to share how they’re doing with peers as well as managers. Departments and smaller teams can develop informal channels for employees to check in with each other, whether through team-building activities, support groups, or simply creating the kind of culture where your team is “there for one another.”
Provide Practical Support
After someone dies there is a tonne of administrative work that needs doing – these processes can take months or years. As employers we can help take some of that work off their plate through the kind of employee benefits that really matter such as administrative bereavement support services or probate services.
Not only will this let your employees know they’re supported and valued but it frees them up to focus on what matters – personally and professionally when they do return to work.
Taking stock
Grief Awareness Week is an opportunity to review how we as employers support our employees through some of the hardest times in their lives. We know that the employers that do this well don’t succeed in treating their employees like human beings, but they also get more out of them and the wider team by cultivating a culture of support that ultimately benefits everyone.
Sam Grice is the Founder of Octopus Legacy, the place to plan for death and find support after a loss. Grice founded the company, originally called Guardian Angel, in 2016 after facing difficulties when dealing with the sudden death of his mother.
The London-based company provides digital tools for people to prepare for end of life and to support those dealing with an unexpected loss through the process.
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