Moments of societal crisis shine a light on the way we communicate in the workplace. Each employee brings their own perspective to discussions based on their unique identity and lived experiences. This can trigger heightened emotions and tensions in teams, particularly when it comes to contentious conversations around DEI topics.
As an HR professional, it can be difficult to know exactly how to navigate these topics and conversations. You may have found yourself walking on eggshells and biting your tongue, afraid of being ‘cancelled’ for saying or doing the wrong thing, even with the best intentions.
But times of social tension also offer an opportunity for learning and growth, for fostering truly inclusive workplaces, if approached intentionally. This requires HR professionals to recognise exclusionary communication and equip themselves with inclusive language tools, to be able to understand and embrace different life experiences of social difference.
So let’s break down what exclusionary communication looks like, and how HR can practice inclusive communication instead.
Understanding exclusionary communication
Exclusionary or non-inclusive communication, also known as microaggressions, are pervasive. Coined by Dr Chester Pierce in the 1970s, microaggressions are everyday acts of discrimination, often rooted in bias and consist of statements, actions or incidents that are considered to be an instance of indirect, subtle or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalised group.
Microaggressions have a cumulative and pervasive effect on those who experience them, and negatively impact psychological well-being, causing anger, shock and shame. They also deplete energy and lead to lower productivity and problem-solving capability.
What this exclusionary communication does is to make people feel ‘othered.’ Exclusionary communication can take many forms: a casual comment, a joke, a compliment or even a well-intentioned remark. It also includes how we provide feedback to others.
When it comes to moments of societal crisis, these microaggressions can become exacerbated, inhibiting employees from sharing experiences without pressure to defend themselves. To combat this, HR can move from exclusionary to inclusive communication with the following 3 steps:
1. Be curious and ask questions
Very often with societal crisis, it’s never clear cut and we need to hold space for multiple – sometimes conflicting – realities to coexist. Yet when the situation arises to engage with others on a topic that exemplifies this coexistence, we may feel anxious if we don’t know enough about the topic. This in turn can cause us to stay silent and keeps us from engaging.
Inclusive communication starts with being curious and taking the time to learn about the different perspectives that people are coming from. When I find gaps in my own understanding that hold me back from engaging in DEI conversation, I make a conscious effort to find out more to fill the gap. There is a wealth of information out there to help us fill this gap. Learning and understanding that our experiences of discrimination are not shared creates that space for multiple perspectives, allowing for more inclusive discussion in the face of social tension.
It’s important to note that learning does not mean asking people from marginalised groups to share or explain their life experiences. Instead, we can ask questions like: ‘I would like to know more about this topic, can you point me in the right direction for some articles, podcasts and authors whose content I can read/listen to?’, or make statements like: ‘I’m going to take some time to understand more about this before we engage on it. Please give me some time to do my own research and then we can have a conversation about it.’
Don’t be afraid to show you don’t know something about a topic – DEI is nuanced and every person’s lived experience is unique to them. Practicing curiosity demonstrates a willingness to broaden your knowledge to challenge your pre-held beliefs and any microaggressions you may be unwittingly engaging in.
Ask yourself: What are the DEI topics I want to know more about? It could be about the discrimination a particular marginalised group experiences, the impact social tension has on different groups, or the history behind the DEI challenges we experience today.
2. Check your language
Checking our choice of words and phrases is an important aspect of being able to respond inclusively when difficult conversations arise at work. Think about the words and phrases that you use that may reflect societal stereotypes and prejudices and that may ‘other’ someone. Are there any that come to your mind?
Questioning the language that we use is a great place to start. If you have discussions about the language we use, you may find that some members of marginalised communities may not find certain words discriminatory, while others may. It could be socially conditioned at play that prevents recognising the bias or accepting things as they are because change feels so distant. When in doubt, it is always better to use inclusive language.
Language used in the news and media can also influence how we think and speak about others. News headlines and reporting often rely on simplified labels or repeated phrases that can reinforce stereotypes about certain groups, whether intentionally or not. For example, the way communities are described, the words chosen to frame events, and whose voices are included or excluded can all shape public perception.
Because news language reaches large audiences and is repeated frequently, it can normalise certain ways of talking about people. Being aware of this influence can help us question the language we adopt in everyday conversations and encourage us to choose words that are more respectful and inclusive.
3. Use flip questions and scenarios
When tempted to ask a question to someone that may be discriminatory, sense check by asking yourself a flip question – would you ask that question to a man, or to a white woman, or to an able-bodied person? If not, don’t ask that question.
Imagine this: a heterosexual couple have both returned from maternity leave. What do we as colleagues/bosses say to one party versus the other? Are we saying the same thing? And if not, why?
Creating a culture of inclusive communication
Inclusion is not just a policy or statement, but a practice that shows up most clearly in moments of discomfort and uncertainty. We must embrace this discomfort by being curious and learning how to communicate in a way that respects the diversity of our workplaces.
By being curious and learning about different perspectives, checking language and flipping questions, HR professionals can step into the shoes of those who are different from them and navigate difficult conversations confidently, in turn embedding true belonging and inclusion into their cultures.
Dr. Poornima Luthra is a globally recognised expert on developing inclusive workplaces, a leading academic, Fortune 500 consultant, keynote speaker and award-winning author of Can I Say That?
